MY MOM

My heart is aching as I write this memory of my mom who passed away on May 30, 2014.  She had suffered a stroke a few days before and we watched her fade away. Her body did not want to give up. I know she is in a better place and I know she is with my dad and her family.  That brings me comfort, but it doesn't make me miss her any less.

When I was growing up she would introduce me to others as the "baby" of the family.  I used to get so tired of that title.  But after having kids of my own and having my own "baby" and having that special bond with him I appreciate that title even more.  I would not trade that title for anything.

When I moved away from home for the first time I went to BYU.  When she took me to Provo and I had to say goodbye to her I thought my heart would break.  I didn't think I could survive without her. But I had family that helped me get through it and were there to support me and I knew I would see her again.  Again I have those same feelings when I was watching her fade away.  I did not want to say goodbye to her and it hurt so much I thought my heart would break.  But I have my family here to help me get through it and are here to support me and I know I will see her again.  I am thankful for that knowledge and for the plan of salvation that our family will be together again.

My mom had some unique qualities that I admired in her.  When I was growing up I didn't appreciate them and probably got annoyed by it, but looking back I wish I had this quality.  She loved to talk.  She loved to catch up with everyone she came in contact with.  We were always the last ones to leave church.  We always took longer at the grocery store than we needed.  I am sure I spent many hours sitting in the car, pacing the aisles of the grocery store or tugging at my moms leg.  She deeply cared about others and wanted to visit with everyone.  She always ran into people she knew no matter where she was at.  If she didn't know somebody she would find someone that knew someone she knew.  Whenever I moved to a new area she would always ask me if I saw anybody I knew at our new ward or in our new neighborhood.

I cherish the moments and times I spent with her, but regret the time I didn't spend with her.  I feel like there are so many more memories and so many more experiences that I would love to share with her that I will miss out on.  That really hurts.  I will miss sharing the weddings of my children and showing off my grandchildren to her.

I miss her everyday and think about her often.  Mom thank you for being the wonderful person that you were.  Thank you for being an example to me and to my children.  Your memory is close to my heart and I love you.